


Blood Red Eyes

by MontanaOpalheart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017), Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Art History Student Thrawn, Because yes, Blood and Injury, Both Are 20, But NishiKimi is Shorter, F/M, Fluff and Angst, For The Moment...?, Ghoul!Thrawn, Heavily Based on Nishiki and Kimis Story, Human!Arihnda, It's Tokyo Ghoul After All, Music Student Arihnda, So NishiKimi AU It Is, So Spoiler For Manga and Anime I Guess?, They Would Work Better As Akira and Koutarou In The Real AU, and SMUT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26165401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MontanaOpalheart/pseuds/MontanaOpalheart
Summary: Every Ghoul had two paths in life to choose from; die of starvation or kill humans. Being able to only consume human meat, they didn't have much of a choice.After Thrass' death Thrawn had no interest in interacting with humans any more than necessary. After all, they were just food, just meat you eat to survive, and even children get taught not to play with their food. That was the reason his Brother got killed, liking a Human, and Thrawn had sworn to himself he wouldn't make the same mistake. It wasn't his fault that he started to enjoy the company of one of the Music Students at the University.
Relationships: Arihnda Pryce/Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	Blood Red Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Names are written in Japanese order; LastName FirstName e.g. Vanto Eli because of Plot points.
> 
> Also Thrawn has blue hair because Anime AU.

_6 Months Earlier_

Typing in the number of his favorite coffee brand into the vending machine, Thrawn stopped when he saw change still laying in the pick-up box. Taking the cold coins into his hand he looked around the area, spotting a girl a few feet away.

"Hey," he called after her, walking up to where she had stopped in her track and turned around to face him. "You forgot your change in the machine."

Looking at her face, Thrawn noticed how tired she looked. The oversized black hoodie made her skin look even paler than it already was, the dark circles under her eyes only adding to the stark contrast. Her black hair was pulled back into a messy knot at the back of her neck, her too long bangs falling into the ice-blue eyes.

"I- thank you," was all that she said as he dropped the change into her hands. She sounded as tired as she looked, shoulders hunching down even more after stuffing the coins into her black jeans. Cocking his head to the side the Ghoul looked at the books peaking out of her bag.

"You are one of the Music Students, right? What is your name?" Her eyes widen in surprise, like she couldn't believe he was actually talking to her. _Perhaps she could be of some use_ he thought, and idea popping into his head as she told him her name:

"Oh, uh... Pryce. Pryce Arihnda."

"It is nice to meet you, Miss Pryce. I am Mitth Raw-Nuruodo. But most people just call me Thrawn." Smiling, he pulled his phone out of his jeans back pocket. Maybe it was stupid, but whether he liked it or not, he would have to make at least some 'friends' he could keep at arms length. "Would you mind if I get your number?"

_3 Months Eralier_

Thrawn was... interesting company. They had been hanging out together for a little over three months now and she still couldn't figure out just _why_ he wanted to spend time with her. On the other hand, one thing she was sure about was that he was addicted to caffeine. When they met at lunch, most days he would have nothing else but a can of coffee. Arihnda couldn't blame him tough, she was drinking _way_ too much of that stuff herself. But she liked the fact that he wasn't as annoying as the other students. Well, his smart-ass comments _could_ be _quite annoying_ , and she would most definitely _not_ be going back to an art gallery with him any time soon, but... He was nice, if a bit weird with his analytics about how art reflected the soul of a culture. Also, he was one of the few people that willingly listened to her rambles and complaints. It didn't even seemed to be bothered him, he just listened and told her his opinion on the matter (his _real_ opinion, no sugar-coated version of just agreeing with her or saying she was right). 

She truly had no idea what he wanted from someone like her. With how much time they spend around each other, she should've expected that her classmates would start rumors of them dating. But even if that was the case (which it was certainly _not_ , not in her mind) she would have trouble understanding it herself. What could Thrawn ever see in her that would make him want to date her? No, that wouldn't make any sense. She was just one of the quiet girls, and even if she had already gotten a small role in the next musical play, no one was really paying attention to her. Having one of the most handsome guys on campus stick around her sounded like a bad joke. It was quite obvious that Thrawn was good-looking, with his high cheekbones, tanned skin and slick blue-black hair-

Okay, _maybe_ she had developed a little crush on him, and their encounters _were_ the one thing that always made her day a bit brighter, but she could never even dream of him liking her more than a friend. Her and Thrawn being just friends was good enough.

Humming one of the melodies she was analyzing for history class, Arihnda looked up in surprise as her doorbell rang. Thrawn had promised to come over so they could have a movie night (after she had almost chocked on her coffee when he had told her he had never seen Rags (she liked the movie, and it was not because she used to have a crush on Keke Palmer)), but being half an hour early seemed out of character, even for him. To say she was even more surprised to see a mailman outside would've been an understatement. She hadn't ordered anything in weeks, and after checking twice that the package was truly meant for her she sat down on her couch to open it.

For a few seconds, she could only stare at the content of the box in horror. There was an old photo album, the black leather of the book cover almost completely covered with random stickers of which most weren't even readable anymore. With shaking hands she lifted the album out of the box, opening and confirming that, yes, it was truly her old family album. As tears started to roll down her face, she tried her best to swallow them and the lump forming in her throat back down. Her efforts were rather useless as it didn't take long for her to turn into a sobbing mess, sitting on the floor and leaning against her small couch with the album pressed against her chest.

She didn't even realize the front door of her apartment opened.

~~~

Walking up to Arihnda's apartment, Thrawn couldn't stop the fluttering in his chest from growing. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but what else was he supposed to do? It was so easy to be around her, so... normal. And she was so damn beautiful, the way her eyes sparkled when they talked about the newest song she was learning in class, or how she always chew on one of her pens while doing her homework, or the way she always put her wrist in front of her mouth while laughing-

Taking a deep breath, the Ghoul shook his head. How could this ever work out in the long run? If he let her in too close, she would sooner or later find out about him. He couldn't let that happen, not after what Thrass had been through. Wasn't this the exact reason his brother had been killed? Because he had let someone come too close? If he knew what he was doing was wrong, why did the thought of leaving her still gave him an uncomfortable squeeze in his chest every time he though about it?

As he opened the door with the spare key she'd given him, Thrawn immediately stopped dead in his tracks. The sound of someone crying hit him at the same time as Arihnda's scent after he had opened the door. Carefully closing the door behind him, he walked down the small hallway to where the sound was coming from. Stepping into what he assumed was her living room, he silently stood in the doorway for a few seconds.

She sat on the floor, leaning against her couch and bawling her eyes out, something that looked like a book pressed against herself. His chest gave squeeze an uncomfortable at this sight of her, the Ghoul slowly walked up to where she was sitting while calling out her name only to be met with frantic head shaking. After he had knelt down in front of her he softly brushed some of the hair sticking to her wet cheek behind her ear, noting how she seemed to curl in on herself even more. Saying her name again, softer this time, she chocked out his name in return, pressing the book harder against herself.

"Look at me, please." Cupping her cheek, Thrawn brushed some of the tears away with his thumb. Arihnda's breath hitched at he movement, head lifting to look at him. Her eyes were reddened from the crying, tears still rolling down her cheeks past trembling lips. Something inside his chest cracked as a sob escaped her. Luckily, it only took a low 'come here' for here to drop the album and flee into his arms, almost knocking both of them to the floor.

Swiftly moving from kneeling to sitting cross-legged on the floor while she wrapped her legs around his waist. The warmth of her body shook with every sob, head buried in the crook of his neck and arms tightly wrapped around his waist, pressing herself as hard as she could against him. His own hands lazily trailed down her back as he whispered shooting sounds against the top of her head.

~~~

Arihnda had no idea how long she sat there, pressed against Thrawn and clinging to him as if her life depended on it. She wouldn't admit it, but she was glad he was there, glad he was just holding her, hands gently brushing against her back and her head, glad he didn't ask any questions. He was just there, warm and solid and he seemed to care and she-

She was crying because of a photo album that belonged to her dead parents. Lifting her head from his shoulder, she used her sleeve to whip away the last of her tears. As she took a shaking breath and exhaled it, a thumb against her waist gently drew circles against her skin through the thick material of her blue hoodie. Clearing her throat, her voice felt raw when she started talking in a low tone, cheeks red with embarrassment and eyes fixated on the front of his white sweater:

"I'm sorry you had to see that. It's just..." looking over to where the album had been laying the whole time, new tears started to blur her vision. The finger turning her head back to Thrawn was a welcome distraction, focusing on the red-brown eyes of the man in front of her.

"How about I make us something to drink and then we talk?"

Smiling a little, Arihnda nodded, being the first to stand up and holding out her hand to Thrawn. Taking his hand in her own, she pulled him up, both of them starring at each other for a few seconds. As soon as she felt her cheeks growing hot she let go of him, hand weirdly cold as she led him into her small kitchen. Before she could do anything, she was sat down on one of the chairs at her small table, blinking a few times until she realized what had just happened. 

She watched in silence as Thrawn looked through her kitchen drawers, pulling out two mugs and preparing both of them (really she wasn't even surprised) a cup of coffee. With her hands wrapped around the warm mug, Arihnda started to tell him everything. From her moving to Tokyo to attend Kamii University to her parents telling her that they would take a well-deserved vacation. She told him about the plane crash and how devastated she had been at first, and later had only focused on her studies and classes. How she couldn't even fly to their funeral because by the time the news reached her it had been already two days since then. That the only thing she requested from her parents home had been the old photo album, which she had completely forgotten until now.

By the time she was done Thrawn's hands had wrapped around her own who were still holding the mug. Blinking away the tears in her eyes and swallowing down the lump in her throat that had started to form again she shook her head.

"I know it's stupid, I- I just miss them." Her throat still felt tight, the words coming out more chocked than she had intended to.

"It is not stupid to grief after a loss," he said while giving her hands a little squeeze, a smile tucking at his lips as he continued. "What do you say, are you still up for that movie night? You seem like you could use the distraction."

With an eager nod she stood up, swiftly followed by Thrawn who took both of their half empty mugs with him. Back in her living room Thrawn sat her down on her couch, handing her over the mugs as he picked up the photo album and placed it on top of a nearby shelf.

As she was sitting on her couch, leaning against Thrawn with a blanket wrapped around them, lukewarm coffee in their hands and the perfect harmony scene playing in front of them, Arihnda decided that, yes, this felt truly nice.

_2 Months Earlier_

Being honest with himself, Thrawn was mesmerized by Arihnda. It was like watching a flower starting to bloom after a long, cold winter. After only a few days she decided to cut her hair, almost making him drop the coffee he was drinking when he first saw her that day. Her bangs were no longer falling into her eyes and the bob was just a little longer than her chin. She was still mostly wearing hoodies, but she looked... _cute_... in them anyways. Overall, she looked healthier, was laughing and smiling more, even cracking a joke every now and then. It was still her, still the quiet girl with those beautiful blue eyes that chewed on her pens, just- happier.

As much as the fluttering in his chest grew with every day, so did the sinking feeling when he lay in bed at night. At night he couldn't escape the reality that they couldn't work out, that sooner or later he would have to leave her. It wasn't the seizing in his chest he had every time he thought about leaving her that he feared, but the look on her face when he told her they could no longer see each other.

Feeling something sharp poke against his forehead made the Ghoul jerk upright in his chair, wide eyes starring at Arihnda as she was giggling to herself, holding a pencil in the hand that covered her mouth, 

"I need to leave, Raw." Looking over to the clock hanging in the study area, an uncharacteristic 'Oh' escaped him, realizing he should get going, too. While he collected his notes she had already finished packing up, backpack swung over one shoulder."Movie night is still up, right?" With a nod he got up from his chair, waving her goodbye as she did the same. Thrawn stood there a few more seconds, watching her walk away. Not for the first time in the last few weeks Thrawn wished he would be normal. He knew he should have stopped all this weeks ago, shouldn't have gotten this close to her, but what was the harm? Just a few more weeks, maybe months, of pretending to be human and she would loose interest in him or would find someone better. It would be the best for both of them if one of those scenarios happened. As long as Arihnda was fine it didn't matter how he felt. 

And really, if she was happy, he wouldn't mind having his heart broken.

Later that day the Ghoul was laying in his bed, Arihnda pressed against his side as the end credits of the movie they had watched were rolling over the screen. Her back was leaning against his side, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders as her head rested against his armpit. As he grabbed a coffee can from his nightstand she shifted against him, straightening her back so she no longer leaned against him.

"Have you being telling people that we are dating?"

The question came as a surprise, making him turn his head immediately to face her. Her back was still facing him as the sentence hung between them for a few more seconds. When he finally spoke up, Thrawn could feel his cheeks growing hot:

"There was a girl that asked me if we were going out. Up until now I thought we were, so I of course said yes." Taking a sip from his drink, he felt incredible stupid. Though before he could continue, Arihnda spoke up first.

"Why?" was all that she said, leaving him with a wide-eyed look on his face.

"Because I thought we were. I had no idea that you did not felt the same, _fuck_ , Arihnda- I am so sorry." Stuttering and running a hand though his hair, he felt the overwhelming urge to hit himself. _How could I be this dense? Of course she wouldn't want to date me, I just ruined everything-_

"N-No! That's not what I meant- I just didn't- I don't understand- Why would you want to date me? Look at you, you could have every girl you want, you shouldn't waste your time with someone like me." She said after turning around to face him, cheeks as flushed as his own. Thrawn shook his head slightly, starring at her in utter disbelieve. Could she really not see it?

"You think too little of yourself, Arihnda. I... I am truly sorry for not being clear from the beginning. I only... I thought you felt the same." 

Emptying the rest of the can in one go, the Ghoul placed it back on the nightstand. What if she didn't want anything to do with him now? Had he really been reading too much into everything? Did she really see him as just a friend?

_Isn't this exactly what I wanted? If she doesn't like me, then I had nothing to worry about. I can't hurt her if she doesn't care..._

Looking over to where she was starring at the floor, hands fidgeting with the ribbons of her hoodie (something she always did when she got nervous) Thrawn shook his head. No, he didn't wanted to loose her, didn't want to be alone again.

"You... You really like me? Not just because you want to fuck me, but because of- of me?" Her voice was quiet as she spoke, still starring at the floor with bright red cheeks. Watching her fiddle with the blue ribbons, he looked at her in shock. Did she really think he spend all this time with her just because he wanted sex? 

Thrawn knew at this point he had only two options; Dumping her and the happiest he had been since his brothers death in the thrash and leaving it all behind, or stay around and eventually die because he couldn't hide his secret forever. No matter how much he tried to convince himself, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave if they took the next step, whatever that might mean at this moment. Of course he could go and lie, saying all he did wasn't anything more than an act to get her into bed, but the Ghoul had seen her break down once before, and he didn't want to be the cause of another one.

"I do," he said, reaching out with one hand and turning her head to look at him. With a little smirk he added "And not just because I want to fuck you." 

Watching her roll her eyes, Thrawn's heart skipped a beat as she turned her head to press her lips against the soft flesh of his palm. Her hand reached up to cup his, delicate fingers intertwining with his as she pulled them from her face, thumb slowly stroking along his as she did so. Turning to the side so they both were facing each other directly the Ghoul brushed the tip of his nose against hers, smiling as a slight smirk crossed her lips. Her gaze was lowered, cheeks turning a light pink after she bit her lower lip. It was obvious what she wanted, he had noticed her starring more than once at his lips, and to say he hadn't done the same would be a lie. 

But still, thinking about how such a scenario could play out and actually be in one were two completeley different pair of shoes. He was no stranger to things such as kissing and having sex, but the view times he had had a one-night-stand it always had been with a Ghoul. Humans were so much softer, squishy even, and so, _so_ much easier to hurt. If he was too rough, grabbed her too hard or bit too hard, he could easily injure her. Sleeping with her would be a risk, but Thrawn had never wanted someone, desired to be close to someone as much as her. His heart hammered against his ribcage as a hint of nervousnes betrayed his steady voice, lips almost touching hers as he spoke in a low tone:

"Can I kiss you?" 

~~~

The question hung between them as Arihnda starred at his lips. Of all the scenarios she had dreamed of, all the dreams she denied having in the morning when she woke up, hearing Thrawn was just as nervous about this as she was a relieve. Licking her lips, she closed her eyes before leaning forward and pressing her lips softly against his.

His hand squeezed hers as he returned the kiss, lips locking with hers while his free hand reached up to cup her face. Deepening the kiss, there was a familiar tingling low in her stomach as their tongues danced with each other.

Her pulse sped up as he started to lean back, tugging at her face to signal she follow him. Doing as he suggested, she moved with him, swinging one of her legs over him and settling into his lap all the while keeping their mouths interlocked. Hands on his chest, both of them gasped when Thrawn broke the kiss, panting slightly as they tried to catch their breath.

Trying to shift into a more comfortable position, Arihnda froze as soon as she felt his growing erection press against her bottom. As she looked at him, Thrawn cursed and starred at the wall with an irritated look. Even in the dim lighting coming from the TV she could tell he was blushing. His hand had dropped from her face, thumbs rubbing against her waist as she watched him mutter out an 'sorry'. Fingers fidgeting with his white sweater, Arihnda's own cheeks flushed while her gaze dropped down his chest:

"We... We've come this far, we might as well go all the way." She wasn't fully convinced he didn't just want to fuck, but it had been so long since her last time and as long as he wanted her, too, it didn't matter. It wouldn't be the first time a guy had stuck around just to get her into bed.

"Only if you are certain." 

Considering his words for a couple of seconds, Arihnda let her hands move up his chest, gripping his shoulders as she let their lips crash once more. The kiss went on for several minutes, tongues exploring and lips biting, her hips occasionally grinding against his. She relished the groans leaving his lips, her own desire growing as he rubbed against her clit through too much clothing. A shiver ran down her spine as his hands slipped under her hoodie, fingertips lightly tracing up her belly before gripping her hips and pressing her closer against him. Mouths parting, Thrawn leaned his forehead against hers, breath hot on her face as he spoke:

"You are wearing too much."

"So are you," she shot back. His hands were already tugging the blue fabric up her waist, her arms lifting so he could pull the piece of clothing over her head. Her own hands quickly gripped the edges of her sports bra, hurriedly pulling it over her head and throwing it on the floor to join her hoodie. Thrawn's hands freeze just before grabbing his sweater, eyes fixated on her naked torso. He seemed to hesitate as he reached out, fingers tracing along her waist with a feather light touch, as if he was afraid she would break as soon as he made a wrong move. Arihnda's breath hitched as he trailed his fingers along the side of her breast, hands gently gripping her ribs as his thumbs feathered over her nipples. The few times she had been with guys her boobs had never been a good source of pleasure, and more often than not the licking and biting did nothing but turn her off. Thrawn's light touch on the other hand set her nerves aflame, a needy whimper escaping her lips as he took a nipple between his teeth and gently pulled.

Not even two seconds later her back was pushed against the soft mattress, wide eyes watching as Thrawn got rid of his sweater. Throwing the fabric to join the pile of her clothes on the floor, he leaned over her, hands planted beside her shoulders while placing a kiss on the side of her ear.

"You are one of the most beautiful artworks I have ever seen."

His voice was low as he murmured into her ear, sending a tingle straight down to her already aching pussy as her cheeks turned red once more. It wasn't like guys didn't compliment her for her looks, but hearing Thrawn say it in such awe made her chest feel incredible light. Soft lips kissed a path down her throat, sucking and licking as he went lower and lower. About halfway down her throat his lips sucked a spot that made her whole body go stiff, her clit almost screaming while she moaned his name, eyes shut close and fingers pressing into his bicep. When his tongue lightly traced the spot his lips had marked her responses were even higher, thighs clenching together while every little nerve in her body buzzed with electricity, screaming out wordless sounds as everything was too much and yet not enough. The few seconds felt like eternity, her hips shifting relentlessly under him while he kissed and nipped at the small spot, high pleas leaving her throat when his hips started to grind against her. 

"A sensitive spot, huh?"

She wanted to kick him for that stupid comment, snap something back at him, anything, but all ideas were forgotten when his lips locked with hers once again. The kiss was slower than the previous ones, something sweet about the way their tongues danced around each other. Her hands trailed down his arms, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as he intertwined his fingers with hers once again. Her body was still tingling when Thrawn broke the kiss, nuzzling his head carefuly into the crock of her neck as to not accidentaly bump into that senstive spot. His voice full of dry humor as he talked, lips brushing against her bare shoulder as he did so:

"Should we finish undressing?" 

With a short nod, her hands let go of his and reached for the waistband of her jeans. Opening the button and sliding down the zipper, she ungracefully wriggled out of the black fabric, kicking them off to the side followed by her socks. The only thing still covering her were the black panties she was wearing. Thrawn had already started to kiss a path along her neck, down her sternum and along the middle of her stomach. Index fingers hooking into the waistband of her pantys, his lips stopped just under her belly button. He looked at her with a questioning look, and after a short nod, kissed her belly once more before peeling the black fabric down her legs. Laying under him, completely naked, anxiety filling her veins as she realized just how vunerable she was int that particular moment. Thrawn's pants and boxers were gone in a matter of mere seconds, wrapping his arms around her while scattering kisses all over her chest and face. His errection pressed against her thigh while her trembling fingers traced along his bicep. Lips leaving a last kiss on her collarbone he lifted his head, the look on his face dead serious while he spoke with a soft voice:

"If you change your mind, or you are uncomfortable in any way, or something hurts, just tell me to stop. I want this to be enjoiable for both of us and you beeing on top would be the best solution."

Her heart swelled at his words, at the fact that he didn't just want to fuck her, but him wanting her to enjoy it, too. That was someting that made him different from her previous boyfriends, too.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Arihnda closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, the scent of him- some mixture of star anise and freshly fallen snow- filling her nostrils as she burried her head where his shoulder met his throat. She muffled a low 'Thank you' against his skin before her legs locked around his lower back and flipped them over. Lifting her head, she smilled down at him, a warm and gentle smile that hadn't crossed her face in months.

~~~

Back landing on the soft mattress, Thrawn couldn't help the chuckle from leaving his lips. Looking up to see her smiling at him made his heart skip a few beats. The warmth that spread from his chest to every little corner of his body should've been off-putting, but that was the last thing the Ghoul would think about in this moment. Her hands left his neck as she leaned down again, kissing his cheek before sitting straight up and turning her attention to his member. He wasn't really huge, not for his height at least, but their obvious height difference was enough to perhaps make the whole thing uncomfortable for her. Thrawn's body shook as her fingers lightly trailed along his length, head pressing back into the mattress as he moaned at the touch. He had never allowed his one-night-stands to touch him like that, and neither had they. Those women had never been inteerested in 'making love', and neither had he. It had just been sex, meaningless sex to feel good once in a while. 

What he wanted from Arihnda was something completely different. It was terrefying to think about, but it there was no denying in it. He didn't just wanted to make her feel good, but make her feel safe, keep her close after and hold her as long as he could. Perhaps he was risking everything he had build himself up with this night, perhaps Thrass would kill him if he were still alive for beeing this selfish and naive, but it didn't matter. His thoughts were narrowed down to her and her alone, the way her hand stroked his dick, her soft lips kissing his chest while his hands stroked the soft flesh of her thighs. He would find a way to make it work, even if he knew that it meant he could hunt even less than he already was, or that he would force himself to eat human food and activly poison himself. He didn't want to see her with someone else, but keep her, here with him, no matter the cost.

Maybe this was what people meant when they say love makes you stupid. 

Groaning, Thrawn shut his eyes, one hand gripping her thigh while the other moved between her legs. He could smell her, the delicious scent of her mixing with something incredible sweet. Hadn't id been for his cock being almost painfully hard, he would've loved to taste her, soft thighs around his head as he did so. Her hand had stopped moving after his fingers started to gently trace her swollen lips, leaning forward on one hand to support her weight while quiet moans left her throat. The hand around him quickly grapped his wrist as he started to circle her clit, her breathing heavy as she looked at him with wide eyes.

"Can I fuck you?" 

"With pleasure."

His response was imediat, the hand on her thigh moving up to her waist while the one between her legs grabed the base of his cock. After she had positioned herself above him the hand on her hips helped guide her down.

His thoughts went blank as she slid onto his cock. She felt warmer than the female Ghouls he had been with, though that might be just imagination. The pressure of her walls clamping around him, wet and warm and delicately tight, was almost too much. When she started to move her hips, up and forward and down and backwards, the Ghoul opened his eyes. He took in every little detail, the way her brows furrowed as she moved, her mouth opening a bit more when she moaned than when she breathed, breasts bouncing in sync with her rhythm, thighs quivering when he hit just the right spot inside her. 

Sitting up, Thrawn wrapped his arms around her middle, hips moving against hers as she slid up and down his cock. Her hands had moved up to his shoulders, short fingernails digging into his skin as she pressed herself harder against him. As her rhythm picked up speed, so did his, the sound of skin slapping against skin and their harsh breaths and moans being the only thing defying the quiet of the room. Dipping his head, he returned his attention once more to the sensitiv spot on her throat. Not long after that she was coming, moaning out his name as her walls squeezed him so tight it almost hurt. It took only a few more thrusts for him to join her, his moan almost drowning out hers as he emptied himself inside her, head buried in the crock of her neck as he did so.

They stayed like this for a few more minutes, his cock softening inside her as they tried to catch their breath. Arihnda carefully slipped off of him, giving his cheek a quick peck before climbing off the bed and heading for the bathroom. While waiting for her to return, the Ghoul scooted over to the dry side of his bed. Hands behind his head and blanket around his hips, he stared up at the ceiling, head strangely empty as he stared at the wooden pallets above him. After a few minutes she was back in his room, pressing herself against him as goosebumps spread across her arms and legs

"Cold?" Thrawn was already tucking the blanket around her when she nodded, shifting from laying on his back to laying on his side before he wrapped his arms around her. "Are you still mad I told someone that we are dating?" 

"Be glad you're so comfortable," was all she murmured back, snuggling closer against him as his hand trailed a lazy path up and down her arm. He watched in amusement as her eyes started to flutter close, her breath evening out as she fell asleep. Unlike her, Thrawn stayed awake a little longer, feeling her pulse on her wrist, seeing her chest rise and fall with every breath. Her body, _warm_ and _solid_ and _soft_ and _living_ , pressed against him. Unafraid, out of her own free will, because she _wanted_ to be this close to him.

She didn't knew that he could kill her any second if he wanted, didn't knew the horrible things he had done just so he and Thrass would be able to live another month, of course she wouldn't be afraid. She had no idea that he was a Ghoul, a monster.

Looking at her sleeping form, it was hard to imagine that he once had thought of her as a potential back-up food source for him, the only thing able to keep him alive being her, or human flesh for that matter. As those thoughts ran through his mind he shook his head, tightening his arms around her and pressing his lips against her forehead.

Maybe he could make it work, maybe he would get killed, but looking at the woman, at the _human_ sleeping in his arms, he knew he couldn't to leave. He whispered against her hair as he started to drifted off to sleep: 

"I love you anyway."

_Present Day_

Groaning, Thrawn tightened the arms around his stomach as another wave of paint shot through him. Two days since that Bridger bastard had stabbed him (with _Tano's_ kagune, he still hadn't figured out how that was even possible) and the wound still wasn't healing. The liters of coffee and water had been useless, altough he should've known that from the start. If he wanted that hole in his stomach to heal, he needed meat. However, it had been difficult enough to get back to his apartment unseen, if he left now the doves would find him before he had any chance of getting anything to eat. He couldn't fight them, not without his kagune and definitely not this weak. It was hard enough to from any sort of clear thought with the throbbing headache, he wouldn't be able to survive any fight at the moment. Empty coffee cans and watter bottles were laying everywhere, a small bowl with blood in and around it sitting on the floor beside the couch, his white sweater tainted with a giant red spot in the middle, covering up the gaping hole in his stomach that was still bleeding.

The front door of his apartment opening caught his attention, but the overwhelming, delicious scent following it was what made him snap his eyes open, kakugans watching as a shadow walked down the hall toward the living room where he was laying on the couch. The person entering the room said something he couldn't understand, his thoughts narrowed down to a primitive, almost animal-like _food, food, food,_ that turned the rest of his brain into mush. As the person came rushing to his side, a faint whisper in the back of his head reminded him that it was Arihnda, and his red pupils widen in shock. Another groan left his lips as he curled in even more on himself, challenging ever little bit of self control he had left in his body. 

"Leave... please leave..."

Coughing out blood he stopped talking, pressing his eyes as close together as he could. She was too close, way too close, and smelled so good, if she just got a little closer-

"Thrawn-!"

Her hysteric voice was a faint distraction as shaking hands turned him on his back. He tightend his arms further around his stomach as she tried to pry them away.

"Arihnda... please," the Ghoul was probably interrupting her, but he couldn't care less right now. "I don't want to hurt you. Please... If you stay-" He cut himself off, barley registering the tear that rolled down his cheek. The last thing he wanted to do was kill her, but he had no idea if he could hold himself back any longer. The sweet scent of her filled his nostrils, mouth watering as his fingers twitched at the thought of sweet release if he only would take a bite out of her-

Her shaking voice calling out his name made him look up. She was sitting beside the couch, on her knees, the blue hoodie she had worn was tossed to the side, the only thing still covering her from the waist up being the black sports bra she was wearing. Feeling blood and saliva dripping down his chin, he jumped at her as if he was on autopilot, tightly gripping her upper arms as his teeth bore into her shoulder. The relief that washed over him as soon as he could taste her flesh was almost immediately overshadowed by the chilling realization at what he was doing. His whole body froze, teeth still piercing into her shoulder and fingers gripping her upper arms while he starred at the wooden floor with a look of pure horror.

Everything had been fine, he had been happy, even enjoyed his live for once, had cherished every single moment he got to spend with her, and for what? To loose control and do the one thing he had sworn himself he wouldn't do. It was ironic, really, doing the exact same thing he had first thought of when he saw her; using her as some last chance to survive. The seizing in his chest was challenging the pain in his abdomen, knowing there was no going back now. If he didn't kill her, she would go and report him, and if he did eat her, he wasn't sure if he could live with the guilt of that. 

The hand stroking his messy blue locks made his heart stop.

"I... I don't know what happend to you, but... if you are a Ghoul, and this is the only way you won't die, then- go on. You... I- I have no one left but you. I already lost my parents, I can't- I can't loose you, too. So... It's fine, really. Eat as much as you need to. Just... Just don't leave me alone. Please."

Her voice sounded as terrified as she had looked, but the hand in his hair was pressing him harder against her, as if making sure he would feed on her. The words still rung in his head as he tore his mouth from her shoulder, swallowing the small part of flesh he had torn off of her shoulder. Blood was still dripping down the corners of his mouth as he leaned against her hand that had moved down his head to gently cup his cheek. His voice sounded rough as he opened his eyes to look at her. 

"You are really full of surprises, Arihnda Pryce." He gave her a weak grin as he put his hand atop hers, fingers wrapping around hers. "I am sorry for... for everything. A monster like me-" 

"You're not a monster!" She cut him off immediately, an almost angry look on her face as she cupped his other cheek, too. Shaking his head, Thrawn looked her directly in the eye:

"I am a Ghoul, Arihnda. I have killed people, I have killed so many people in my life-"

"But you had no choice! If you hadn't, you would've died."

He wasn't sure who she was trying to convince that him being a murderer could be justified, but it didn't matter. Why was she still here, anyway? Why wasn't she calling the CCG to report him? How could she still look at him after what he had done to her?

"Would that have been really so terrible?" was all that he said, voice cracking as his eyes stayed fixated on her shoulder. A hard slap against his cheek or having her shake his head was something he would have fully expected from her. The angry expression and tears sparkling in her eyes on the other hand caught him completely off guard.

"Yes, it would've been terrible for me. For fucks sake stop talking shit for one minute and accept that I care about you! Do you really think I would still be here if I didn't? Do you really think I would have let you literally eat me if I didn't? You are the only one I still got. The only person that I love who is still alive. So please, don't talk about yourself like that. I don't care if you are a Human or Ghoul or God knows what, right now the only thing I'm worried about is you possibly dying."

Hearing her say those words out loud made something in Thrawns chest swell. It seemed surreal that she would still care about him even after knowing what kind of monster he truly was.

_The only person that I love who is still alive._

Looking at her worried expression, he withdrew his kakugans, noting how her eyes widen when the red iris and black sclera vanished and red-brown eyes stared back at her blue ones. Letting go of the hand holding his face, he instead cupped her cheek. 

"I love you, too." 

Admitting something like that when he had just bitten off a part of her shoulder seemed like the worst thing he could do, but the smile she gave him was worth it.

While Arihnda helped him get to his room, Thrawn tried his best to not but any weight on her. He had already caused a serious injury, he didn't intend to make it any worse than it already was.

As he sat down on his bed he watched Arihnda roam through his closet, pulling out a clean sweater. The new wave of pain that shot from his stomach into every little corner of his body took him by surprise, a quiet groan escaping him as he clutched at the bedsheets. Immediately, the sweater was forgotten as she rushed to his side, dropping down on her knees as her hands framed his face once again.

"Thrawn! What's wrong? Don't tell me it's getting worse-"

"Shh, hey, everything is alright. Give me a few minutes, okay? Even with the... meat I ate, I believe it will take a while for the wound to close up." His poor attempt to calm her down clearly didn't work, seeing as she started to look even more worried than before. "How about this; In the first aid kit in my bathroom should still be some bandages. You can go and get that, and please bring me another can of coffee. Then I will answer any questions you have. Okay?"

She seemed hesitant, but in the end agreed with him, giving his cheek a quick peck before leaving the room. It took a few moments before she returned, first aid kit in one hand and two cans of coffee in the other. Silently watching as she went through the small box and pulled out a pack of antiseptic wipes. Ripping the small package open she used it to whip away the blood around his mouth.

"I look like a mess, right?" 

"You look like shit." Thrawn pulled off his sweater, not even admitting to himself that he was scared of how she would react to seeing the hole in his stomach. She didn't even seem to flinch at the sight, taking the wipe from before and starting to clean his abdomen of the blood around his wound. "Now, tell me how the fuck you're still alive with that and what the hell is actually going on with you. I know Ghouls are can only eat humans, but that's all." 

Looking at her for another second, Thrawn grabbed one of the cans and cracked it open, taking a long sip before he started to talk:

"Ghouls have much higher regenerative abilities than humans. Usual a small wound closes itself in mere seconds. Even the one I have should have closed up by now, but I have not eaten in a while, and the coffee was not helping either." 

"So," she started, carefully placing a wound dressing on his stomach and starting to wrap a bandage around it "In order to heal, you have to eat, that I understand. But what's up with the coffee?" 

Maybe it was the shock of the situation, maybe she really was unfazed by his wound, but Thrawn was glad that she didn't freak out. It would only have made him feel worse, possibly traumatizing her with the fact that she could stick her hand through his stomach without touching him at all.

"It is the only human food Ghouls can consume, too. Besides water, of course. I honestly do not know why, but it helps control the hunger." Taking another sip, he placed the can on the floor as Arihnda handed him the black sweater that she had dropped not long ago.

"What happens when it doesn't help anymore?" She carefully sat down beside him, handing him the first aid kid so he could take care of her shoulder. Grimacing, he blinked a few times before speaking while starting to clean the blood off of her. 

"Headaches. Terrible headaches. You can not think straight anymore and the hunger get's so bad it actually starts to hurt you physically." Patching up her shoulder, he looked up to meet her gaze. "It is hell." As he let his gaze drop down onto the floor and his hand beside hers, her fingers intertwined with his, gently squeezing as she whispered into the silence: 

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." 

Shaking his head Thrawn lifted her hand up to his lips, kissing her fingertips and letting his lips rest against them for a second.

"None of this is your fault, my little Songbird." Using the ridiculous nickname he had come up with earned him a light kick against his shin which made him chuckle, the soft sound only lasting a few seconds before his expression became serious once. "I am so sorry for what I did to you. I never intended to hurt you-" 

"Hey," she quickly interrupted him "It's alright. I'll be fine, you should be more worried about yourself than about me. I'm not mad at you. I mean, I'm definitely shocked, and really mad that you never told me that you are a Ghoul, _and_ I'll probably freak out as soon as the adrenaline leaves my veins, but the only thing that's on my mind now is that you please don't die." Smiling wrily at that, Thrawn squeezed her hands. 

"I can assure you that I will be fine. A few days and I will be as good as new." he reassured her, purposefully leaving out the part that he would have to eat as soon as he could. The Ghoul had neither the strength nor the patience to talk about that with her now. "Would you mind if I rest for a bit? I am relieved to know that you do not think of me as a monster, but this whole thing has been rather... tiring."

Thrawn relaxed as she shook her head and started to tuck him into bed. They didn't talk as she did so, and after she had finished wrapping the blanket around him he was relieved when she sat down beside him. He wouldn't have minded being alone but her staying beside him, right next to him, knowing what he could do, felt like a warm shower after walking through a snowstorm for hours. One of her hands gently ran her fingers through his blue-black hair as he pillowed his head on her thigh, a sigh escaping him at the soft touch.

"Thrawn?" Cracking one of his eyes open the Ghoul peered up at her, noting that she was looking to the side rather than facing him directly. A soft 'mhm' was all the response he could muster, already half asleep when she had whispered his name. "You won't... You aren't going to..." Her voice faild. Kissing her thigh (or rather her jeans) Thrawn laid his arm across her legs in an atempt to wrap it around her.

"I will stay with you for as long as you want." His voice was muffled, but seeing her shoulders relax he knew she had heard him. She didn't answer, and he closed his eyes once more. Better to fall asleep while the pain wasn't as bad and Arihnda was still there, she was way more comfortable than a pillow anyway. 

He might have already dreamed that part, but the soft 'I love you' was enough to keep away any potential bad dreams while he slept for the first time in two days.


End file.
